Sorry I Can’t be Perfect

Ok, so I’ve had “Perfect” by Simple Plan stuck in my head all moment. I woke up with it there and I’m not exactly sure where it came from. Well, that’s not true, I think I listened to it this weekend. My former Emo self… erm… current Emo self is proud of my brain for recalling such an emotional song from my high school years. Don’t judge. If you don’t know, you will never know.

But here’s the thing. I truly believe that everything… yes, even the songs stuck in my head… happen for a reason. I believe that the mundane can be used to point us back to God when we get lost in the hopping, insane world that we live in. I’ve be really focused on getting back to my routines with self care and cleaning/organizing and it’s been amazing. But this morning I was tired. I didn’t want to get up at 5 Am… or 5:30 AM… or 6 AM. I was mad when my alarm went off… and thoroughly confused because I thought it was closer to 7 AM when my husband woke me up coming in from work.

So I laid in bed until 6 AM and then forced myself to get up, wash my face, get dressed down to my shoes (slippers because I haven’t purchased a pair of house shoes yet), and go downstairs to eat breakfast and work on this post.

It’s almost 7 AM now and my toddler is currently knocking on her door to be let out of her solitary confinement, but she has a sedated MRI being done today and can’t eat, so I’m trying to keep her away from the kitchen for as long as possible… and Mama needs to eat or her meds will cause her to pass out. So…

I’m not perfect. I can’t be perfect. I’m not Jesus.

I did a training yesterday for one of the companies I work for and she was talking about grading yourself in certain areas of your life… 1-9. What? 9?? I’m sorry, my neurodivergent brain can’t allow you to stop at 9, you have to go to 10. That’s the way it is. That’s the way its been since Kindergarten!!!

But here’s the reason why.

10 is perfect. Right? Like if you’re a 10 at something, your perfect at that. And how obtainable is being a 10 in Finances or Family or Confidence? Let me tell you, it’s impossible. Literally impossible. So take the pressure off and score to a 9. There’s still room for improvement but you’re already really good at it.

I feel like that giving yourself grace to NOT be perfect, is the final step into accepting who you really are. Accepting that God created you for a certain place in life and in this world, and it’s not so that you’d be perfect, takes so much pressure off of you (Pressure like a drip, drip, drip that’ll never stop, whoa… sorry not sorry).

So, I’m sorry I can’t be perfect. I don’t want to be.

Ok, but let’s get to something fun…

SOURDOUGH STARTER!!!!

Here’s What You’ll Need:

2 Tbls Flour
2 Tbls Water
Clean Jar
Coffee Filter

Everything I read gave me completely different measurements for this, so I’m making my own and we’ll see where it goes. I’m starting with 2 tablespoons, if it doesn’t work, I’ll start over.

So, add your flour and your water to the jar, stir until combined.

Cover with a coffee filter and place in a warm, dry area. I chose next to my sink, but it probably won’t stay there. Top of the fridge is a good place too. You want it warm, not cold, so make sure it’s not near a window or anything right now if you’re on the East Coast like I am.

Tomorrow, I’ll feed it another 2 tablespoons of flour and water and do that for two days. Then, I’ll start the 1:1:1 ratio– 1 part starter, 1 part flour, 1 part water. So I’ll discard all by two tablespoons of starter and then feed it. You can do 1:2:2 or 1:3:3 if you want, but my jar is really small so for this experiment I’m only doing the 1:1:1 and starting small.

I’ll be getting a bigger container but for now this will work.

Ok, my toddler is scream singing “Let It Go” and I don’t want her to wake up her dad… so I’ll be going now.

With Light and Love,

Eli Morr

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