Housewife? Homemaker? Who am I?

Housewife?  Homemaker?  Who am I?

I’m a self titled feminist. Pro-choice, pro equality, pro woman… I believe that God uses woman just as much as men in His story. Ruth? Esther? Mary Magdalen? Just to name a few. I was 100% about my career for awhile, always striving to be the best sales manager or training director there was. But God has called me to something different.

A modern day woman is told that she doesn’t need a man to support her. She can do it… who runs the world? Girls. While, yes, I don’t NEED a man, I have one. One that seems to consistently be on my nerves. One that refuses to close the dang cabinet doors when done taking a mug out for his seventeenth cup of coffee… but I digress. My husband is a wonderful, selfless man who works roughly 50-60 hour weeks, overnights, constantly on his feet and doing physical work. He comes home, sleeps, spends a few hours with me and our daughter, then goes right back to the grind. It’s impressive and I feel so blessed.

His selfless act of working incredibly hard has allowed me to stay home with our daughter. It’s something that I just adore, being able to spend as much time with her as possible. It’s also allowed me to focus on her medical care, which we’ll get to another time. It was a blessing from God when we made this decision. It’s not been easy, finances can be tight at times and the long hours puts a strain on our marriage, but we both feel like we have been specifically called to this particular time in our lives.

So, what the heck am I babbling on about now?

I’ve stumbled across a section of Pinterest where Modern Homemaking runs rampant. And I’m intrigued. Remember, I’m a strong, independent woman who don’t need no man… except I don’t want to go back to work… so I guess I do need someone. But I don’t feel like I’m honoring the calling that God has placed on my life.

Let’s imagine for a second:

The setting is the 1950s and the scene opens to a beautiful, skinny woman wearing a flattering yet modest dress, a string of pearls, and she’s effortlessly pushing a vacuum. Not a bead of sweat or hair out of place. Her children come running in from outside laughing. The clock on the wall chimes 5 pm and instantly her husband graces the stage with his presence. They greet each other with a chaste kiss, she takes his hat and hands him some slippers while he sits to enjoy a glass of whiskey or brandy that so lovingly was prepared by his adoring wife. Dinner is promptly served at 530 pm with no napkin slightly wrinkled, or silver tarnished. The whole family sits to eat while the husband spins tales about his day at work. It’s the perfect picture, a Norman Rockwell if you may, of the American dream.

But hunny, this isn’t the 50s and I’ll be damned if I have napkins that can’t just be thrown away. I’m not even sure if I own an iron.

I’d be lying if I said that this lifestyle didn’t intrigue me. That the idea of having nothing to worry about was cleaning, kids, and groceries. Until you start to think about what that all entails, at least. But that feminist side of me screams:

YOU ARE MORE THAN A WIFE AND MOTHER!!!

But what if I’m not.

Clarissa West from clarissawest.com talks about the difference between a homemaker and a housewife. I’m going to summerize here:

Homemaker:

I think of a homemaker as someone who desires to make her house a
home for her family, whether she works outside of the home or not. She
feels it is her responsibility to create a warm & secure atmosphere for her
husband and children. She wants to keep it clean, of course… but more
importantly, she wants to keep it comfortable and welcoming.
Homemaking is a calling.

Housewife:

To me, housewife equals a married woman who stays home rather than
work outside of the home. Her first job/work IS to manage her household.
In addition to being a devoted wife who strives to be a godly wife, she
seeks to be a wise steward of her household. This may look different in
every marriage. Housewifery is a duty.

Hmmm… This is interesting, right? Homemaking is a calling, housewifery is a duty. So, what does God say?

“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh
holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good
things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their
husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home,
good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not
blasphemed.”

Titus 2:3-5 KJV

That’s an odd translation, sorry Clarissa. Here’s a better one:

In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not slaves to excessive drinking. They are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and in submission to their husbands, so that God’s word will not be slandered.

Titus 2: 3-5 CSB

“In submission to their husbands”… doesn’t that sound a little… patriarcle to you? It definitely does to me. Why can’t I be in charge? I’m not anything less than my husband!!

Of course we’re not “less” than our husbands. Remember, God uses woman just as much as he uses men to further his kingdom. Look at the story of Ruth! We just finished a series on Ruth at church and I’m just so in awe of God’s amazing love. That might have to be another post, though.

No matter how I feel about it, this is what is being asked of me by God. My ministry is in how I raise my children and love my husband. It’s in how I take care of my house and in how I offer hospitality to those around me. It’s in how I love God and strive to surround my family in that love. And no matter what the world around me says, I have to follow God’s plan for my life.

So, this is the beginning of my Homemaking journey. It started tonight and I feel good!! We’ll see how I feel in the morning.

I’ll post later this week about my routine and what I’m adding into it and taking away. But I’m excited to see how God blesses me and my family during this journey.

Stay Tuned!

With Light and Love,

Eli Morr

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